Oooooh!

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Me, I am tired of this house-help wahala oh!

Well, my new girl has been around for a few weeks and I am quite happy with her. She needs no supervision and is very committed to her job. Lois (my old girl), is still around because I want her to finish this term (she is in form 1).
I had pretty much decided I would send her home once she was done with her exams …until her dad called. Did I tell you she’s from my town? Please abeg don’t do village connections; we aren’t related but I’ve known her family for decades. Well, the man got to hear about his daughter’s crimes and called to plead with me.

Papa Lois: Hello, this is papa Lois. I don’t know why my daughter did such evil, please I need to come and talk to her.
Me: It’s ok, you don’t need to come (because if you do I will just send you home with her and she won’t finish her exams).
Papa Lois: No, I need to come to Abuja and talk to her so she never does such again. I feel so bad and I don’t want her to come home. Please her mum is so ashamed and we are shocked at her behaviour.
Me: don’t worry sir, I will come home with her after her exams. Take care Sir.
(Of course all this was said in Igbo)

Lois was nearby and started crying. “Please ma I don’t want to go home, don’t send me home”
I immediately felt bad, just about an hour before the call she was playing with my boys and they were so happy, they really like her.
As I was thinking to myself maybe I should just leave this girl, my son Nonso came out “mummy Lois beat me, I did wee on my bed and she beat on my bum bum and said “pin your mouth””. Of course she denied it. The next day she asked if she could use liver to make spaghetti sauce. I found that strange because we always use minced meat. I told her to use meat much later after we had all eaten and the kids were in bed I saw some seasoned liver in the kitchen.

ME: Lois what’s this?
Lois: It’s some liver that fell out of the liver bag unto the freezer floor
Me: So why didn’t you put it back into the bag?
Lois: Emm… I just thought I should season it and keep it in the fridge

Now this went on for a while and of course her story made no sense. I know Lois has “akpili ogologo” (long throat) and she probably just wanted to eat liver that day. Why must she always lie stupidly. It’s not like I will beat her if she tells me the truth. You catch her sleeping and she lies that she wasn’t sleeping, meanwhile her eyes have given her away. The other day I heard her saying “Nonso come out of there with that your long mouth” and she lies saying no “I said Nonso come out with that your mouth that you suck” (as if that sounds any better).

I dunno, I feel really sorry for her, because I know how poor her family is and she is doing really well in school. Even the new girl is feeling sorry for her, today she told me she could put her in order if she misbehaves. I really want to help them, but I don’t want her lying to rob off on my kids. Already, the new girl does most of the work in the house because Lois takes to much time to do hers. I am also scared that she may start beating my kids again once she gets comfortable.

Oh! God, help me!

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27 Comments

  1. Na wa o… e no easy sha. I honestly don’t know what to advise as I have no experience in these matters. I would just say follow your instincts, go through with your decision if you have peace deep down… and pray. dunno what else to advise…

  2. na which kinda yawa be this oh: at the risk of sounding harsh I dont think she has truly learnt a lesson. Maybe send her home for a month or so and then she’ll come back ready to act right. Ofvrouse like DG Im inexperienced..Just my .02 cents.

  3. O ga oh!! Only fellow ladies with house help can give the best advice on this one. I dont have any. On the other hand, you should be firm, if she has misbehaved, send her home. Your sanity and that of ur family is more important.

  4. Girl, the only thing I can say is that you need to call her out on her sneaking, lieing behaving ways. Sit her down and tell her about herself, then tell her your heart of how you want her to finish the school exams and do well, etc… then let her behind know that she is given ONE more chance to get it together, if not, bye, bye. My mom always said, “if you put a snake in your bosom it will eventally bite.” Take your emotions out of this situation.
    When I had my home daycare I had to tell some parents about their rude ways, and I had to let them know what I expect of them if they are going to be bringing their child to me for care. Not all the time they liked it, but they did respect it and would tell me later. Make the rules and stick with it. People like that know if you are weak or strong. So they’ll try you and if you don’t put your foot down they’ll think, “awwww, she’s a softy, she’s not going to do anything, all she do is threatin, but nothing is going to happen.”
    Enough is enough, you don’t want your children thinking, “mommy knew what this girl does/did to us, but yet she didn’t really do anything.” Dang, now you got me wishing I was there because I would do it for you. My concern are your children.

  5. CHIOMA, biko…biko…i bet you didnt know i was part Onitsha…SEND THAT GIRL PACKING…Osiso (quickly…), i know my Igbo is rusty…but you get my drift.

    Send her packing.

    She lies, beats your kids…what kidn of example is that setting for the kids…

    Biko, i beg you in the name of God, send this hieffer packing…

    Papa lois or no papa Lois…Do not let that girl in ya house…Finish.

    God knows what she will do next.

    Anuofia!

  6. My dear, what are the priorities here? The children, your home then her education. Everything else is ‘jarra’ and these 3 are not intertwined. If you can afford it, send her packing but continue to pay her fees (or some of it), that way, it eases the blow of leaving your home, helps her future and paves the way to get her back at short notice if necc. when the new girl begins to mess up as you and I know they always do.

  7. @daddys girl..thanks dear will do
    @nanya..the girl wasn’t raised well I mean the way she lies is unbelievable just yesterday i found out she has almost finished the kids juice of course she denied it.God dey
    @calbar girl. your right I need to come home to peace not constant scolding, its like having a badly behaved teengae daughter.
    @lady a.. thanks for the sound advise..I have had that talk with her (like 2ce) so I think I have given her enough chances..like you said she knows I am a softie(i wish i could toughen up) so maybe she is messin with me.
    @ bobby.. lol your igbo ain’t that bad..Nne the girl is out asap thanks
    @omara..you are truly a wise woman.thanks for the solid advise as soon as I read your comment I knew it was the right thing to do.You are blessed.
    @mymt.. nne thanks oh..I don warn her tire.

    thanks my blogpals hopefully I won’t be writing about househelp issues anytime soon!

  8. I totally agree with Bobby. I was trying 2 be nice and say give her one more chance, but after I read Bobby’s, NO MORE CHANCE, enough is enough! You can do it *wink*

  9. My dear, I feel you should do what’s best for your kids… I trust you can disciple your kids yourself, why does she have to beat them? I hated it when I read “with that your long mouth..” such statements just annoy me… It’s all so negative. And as for her unecessary lying, it’s so riduculous! If you want to do her well, please send her home and let her parents enrol her in a school which you can contribute towards, this girl sounds like too much unecessary time and effort.

  10. This HG problem sef…I pray this situation changes soon…

    Side-note: so sowwwwieee ms. Chioma, I have only been able to mail out devotionals within the US for now because its easier…but not to worry, I’m hoping I will be able to mail them overseas soon. (Just wanted to make sure u knew I hadn’t forgotten).

  11. GREAAAAAAAAAAAT IFE…CHIOMA ITS A LIE.SO NA U OWN THIS BLOG?
    I HAD SAVED IT AS A FAVORITE ON MY LAPTOP CUS I READ IT RELIGIOUSLY.WHEN TODAY I WAS SORTING OUT MY FAVORITES ETC..AND I SAW THE NAME CHIOMAMOMAH.
    OKAY..NICE TO KNOW YOU DOING GOOD.
    WILL LET YOU KNOW WHO I AM VERY SOON.

  12. @waffarian,lady a,mba 5: thanks she overhead me asking dh how bestto send her homeand she came to me and came clean on some of her lies(eg my neighbour saw her battering my son, and she had previously told me the woman was lying on her)..blamed her lying ways on a relative she lived with before(long story but it made sense), and told me to pls take her to church for prayers so she would stop lying.(not happening).
    nyemoni: You can imagine how i felt hearing that and the other stuff she says.
    jaycee: thanks thought you must have sent it to the wrong place…expecting it soon.
    anonymous: great ife!Its a small world I think I should run for President, more people seem to know me than Yaradua.lol..ok reveal yourself soon.

    Bottom line is I am sending the babe home.Like a few of you suggested I will offer to pay part of her tuition so her parenst won’t think i just DUMPED HER..she is just to hectic for me

  13. You all see!! …

    When I say give me 9ja wahala any time … ppl think there is something wrong with me..eh…
    …you see what you are calling God’s help for??

    Me way dey UK here,…na me be the cook, cleaner, driver, lesson teacher and not to for get … polished and ready when Oga enter house … :))

    I am so looking forward to Naija wife wahala…. 🙂

    http://www.refinedone.wordpress.com

    God help me o!! I want to leave Obodoyibo!!

    all the best girl.
    http://www.refinedone.wordpress.com

  14. refinedone..lol..ok we are waiting for you all to move back. I know I don’t envy u guys at all. however i think naija women get a bit lazy..i mean why should the nanny do home work with your kids(unless you get back after bedtime), but i hear you..i know I can’t do laundry and cleaning and I am so looking forward to when I can get a good driver.
    We r thinking of moving to UK for a year for masters and I am so not looking forward to it..Infact they had better give this my girl visa oh!

  15. Please stop feeling bad, send her away, you don’t know what else she does to your children that will stay with them for the remainder of their lives; they’re your priority not her. It’s not you that created the situation of her life, so the guilt and feeling bad/responsible should not be your own. Abeg send her packing as soon as possible.
    Do they sell nanny cams in abuja?

  16. mehn all this housegal wahala’s is way too much. Personally i have vowed that i would nver get a househelp. With the thing happening with houeshelps & husbands this dayz, i dnt advise anybody to take the risk. Or if i am so in need of a househelp, i would take a leaf from your book and not get a fully grown woman as a helper. Personally i would prefer a male one. But sha, till i get married. I love your blog! This is my 1st tym commenting. Just wanted to say that your posts are inspiring

  17. omara@ soon, since she doesnt wnat to go I dont want to send her unaccompanied.She will go home with my cousin last week.
    kpakpando@ i love ur blogname..shine girl.nanny cams? I doubt if they have it will be a crazy price.I dunno why i feel so bad, maybe because i really liked her and my kids like her too.I asking God to give me peace about sending her home and the truth is that after she suffers at home ..I may allow her come back(if i’m lead by God).maybe by then she will know that once she messes up I can send her away.

  18. hey chidi..thanks for dropping by glad you like my blog..working on some new posts. Nne these helps are almost like necessary evils its hard to cope in naija without em.I am not really into helps but men having people to help can make life easy some friends of mine have washerman,driver,cook,nanny. The truth is that though this girl came as a help the only reason I considered giving her a second chance is because I know she and her family are poor and they know she will have a better life with me,..but the girl wahala ..some people can cope with her and scream everyday..me i don tire.

  19. hey chidi..thanks for dropping by glad you like my blog..working on some new posts. Nne these helps are almost like necessary evils its hard to cope in naija without em.I thought about a houseboy since i have 2 boys, but boys have their own issues.I am not really into helps but men having people to help can make life easy some friends of mine have washerman,driver,cook,nanny.the fact that she wants to stay is plus,other girls can come and after 2yrs decide they want to marry..but the girl wahala ..some people can cope with her and scream everyday..me i don tire. I will send her away even if ts temporarily.My kids and my sanity are more important

  20. I feel sad for teh girls family. The whole family is beggin you to keep the girl and you’ve decided to send her packing (ofcourse for good reasons).

    I wanna ask how old she is and if you feel she can change her habit. If she’s too yuong, then recommend a form of punitive punishment anytime she goes negative on ya kids or herself.

    …..On a side-note, however, as this is my first time of commenting on ya blog, permit me to say Hello adn Kudos. Expect to see me more often!

  21. @ugo..i know i feel bad myself..shes is 17 so in a way i feel it too late to mold her, but sometimes i feel its possible..man she lied on sunday over some silly stuff..the lying gets to me.I may get her back but for now let her go and resolve to behave.
    @idemili..I am trying to do just that.i know my kids like her but i dont want to put em at risk..still praying about whether i will let her return or not.thanks

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