Shhh! The Kids Are Here

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I hardly ever saw my parents argue, not because they didn’t but because they had the good sense not to argue in front of us.
I and my husband on the other hand have been quite silly because we argue in front of them all the time. Of recent I started telling my husband to mind the kids, and his response has been ” they don’t understand” which is quite absurd because I know that I remember stuff from when I was 3 and my son is 4!

Well, last weekend we had another minor argument and my 4 year old was there.

Later that day this is what my son told me:

Son: Daddy doesn’t like you
Mum: why do you say that?
Son: because he was abusing you.

I felt so bad because it wasn’t even a real argument and we didn’t use any ugly words. All I did was scold my husband for not keeping an eye on the baby (my 4 year old had carried her out of her chair!) but hubby got defensive and all.

That was it Oh!

Abeg we all have to mind what we say around our kids; they are more perceptive than we could ever imagine.

God bless

Ps. check out this great blog by daddy’s girl

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12 Comments

  1. Hmm I totally feel u on this matter…children are smarter than we think..

    I hardly saw my parents argue as well but any time my dad talked down to my mum in our presence I felt horrible. Mumc had the wisdom to keep quiet when we were there (though i used to will her to respond..lol)..am sure she gave him a piece of her mind later on.

    I pray me and hubby will be able to make that conscious effort when we have children.

  2. Hmn these kids of nowaday are just too intelligent and sharp,we just have to be careful of what we say and do.Imagine my five year old son saying mummy,its 9 oclock o and we are just coming back and if we meet Daddy at home,he will really shout,he just like you being at home and no matter what you say he will not allow you to talk thinking you dont have a brain,he likes to think for other people-i was more than shocked and i just told him to shout up before i smack him.

    Parents,do your shouting and all stuff in your room and when you are alone.

  3. great point. we dont argue in front of her. she’s still very young tho.

    my parents used to argue all the time. and yes, i remember almost every detail!. his parents never did.

    i make an extra effort not to repeat my parent’s footsteps!

  4. yesoo…children are smarter than we think..i know a 3yrs old that knows wat goes on in his parent room at night,lol

    madam, you and oga need to tune it down a bit

  5. Yes, we should watch what we say when our kids are there!

    My parents never really used to argue in our presence but i can remember certain times when he would talk down at her, i hated it! But they never shouted at each other or anything like that

    I have found out that once kids come, one just has to be careful…they cannot tell when joing..

    Case in point, my hairdresser’s daughter (we’re quite friendly) told me one day as i walked with her to a shop that her parents are no longer rich as they cannot pay for summer school…i didn’t know what to say. She must have picked up some of the things they were saying because her mum later told me because they just completed their house, things were a bit tight for them!

  6. @aloted..God will grant u the wisdom
    @nija wife.. lol
    @simi..its good that your concious of it,
    @lg..my dear we have learnt our lesson
    @writefreak..hmm

  7. Chioma,
    how are the kids?
    My dear, this marriage thing eh, who ever said it was easy biko?
    I am with you on this but tell me (I am happily married and have been for the past 10 years)how do you solve a problem like this?
    I just came out of a face off with my hubby last weekend. My parent must have argued loads of times I really can’t remember them because they were never in our presence but these new generation husbands are something else – I have actually begged him to wait till we are in the room but ‘for where’!I havw given him feedbacks from the kids – there was once ,my daughter , then, aged 4 said to me ”Mum, ignore him”;these days she’s now 9 and she just asks me if we are getting a divorce and what the fight was about.My main problem is that I don’t want to teach my daughter the wrong attitudes so sometimes I just don’t shut up even though I could if I wanted but I don’t because I don’t want her to grow up that way and sometimes I don’t say anything and my hubby just goes on and on.
    Husbands seem to want it now so nothing can wait. Sometimes, I ‘m able to contain it and others I just loose it but the most annoying thing thing is that after all the shouting in front of the kids,the apology is done quietly early in the morning or late at night when our audience is nowhere to be seen or even heard.Any way God dey!!
    Take Kia
    Ifi

  8. Nice post – my rule, I never argue in front of the kids, just like your rightly pointed out – our parents didnt. These kids sabi pass themselves. They could even take it to school. That apart, its always great to give the kids the impression that all is well, and hope that they carry it on to their own relationships. If they see too much arguing and God forbid, violence, they take it in and sometimes think its the right way to do things later in their lives.

  9. i agree. growing up my dad acted quiet in public, noone would have thought he could even get angry but inside his temper could flare up. I remember being like 4 or 5 and he hit my mom and she mistakenly fell.I remember when my brother who might have been 7 or so got in his way once, I think it surprised my dad, but my bro was like dont you dare yell or touch her…sigh Thank God for God now, as I’m in my late 20s love both my parents, God took over his soul, we’ve all let it go thats what Jesus would do and its a memory I hardly remember these days except for when I see posts like this.

    I know for sure though that adult conversations are for the bedroom, kids shouldnt be a part of it, let them enjoy their childhood.

  10. hmmm,

    my parents never argued in front of us (maybe becos my pop is 13yrs older than my mom i guess?)

    my dad told me one day “that its not because i dont want to scold ur mum but becos i dont want ur friends to say daddy elcee and mummy elcee fought yesterday and embarass you guys”. i doubt if our y2k husbands can think like that.

    i still pray i marry someone like my dad.

    it is well

    marriage is not easy sha

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