This was the caption for last weeks edition of wives lives, an opinion poll type weekly write up in the SUN. I always enjoy reading it as they ask really funny questions and get even funnier answers.
When I saw the caption I though most of the women would say they would end the relationship immediately, but boy was I wrong.Out of 9 women 6 said they would go ahead with the wedding, 1 said she would ask for a postponement so may agree to continue, while 2 categorically said they would not go ahead with the wedding.
Here are some of the excerpts
Timilehin ” I will still marry him because we have prepared so much for the wedding ……but I will punish him for some months after the wedding..I will later forgive him and we will live our lives peacefully”
Gloria “..the wedding will still hold because my man holds a special place in my heart. I will find out what attracted him to her ….I will forgive him. as for my bridesmaid I will replace her immediately because I am sure she seduced my husband”
Nkechi ” I can’t go on with such a wedding because for him to sleep with my chief bridesmaid he can definitely sleep with my sister. He will hurt me more if I marry him”
Helen ” I will still marry him… but he will suffer for his action my attitude towards him will change. If I cancel the wedding my husband will find another woman to marry and people will think i have a curse on my head. To avoid gossip i will carry on with the wedding…”
Tonia ” that wedding will hold. Now that I know the kind of man I am married to I will have to be vigilant. I will marry him to avoid sham and embarrassment…”
Bimpe ” of course I will still marry him, I cant be stupid to quit the joyous day ( how about quitting a miserable life?) all because he slept with my chief brides maid. I will still love him. I won’t even discuss the matter with him. As for her I will leave her to her conscience she will continue to be my bridesmaid.
Rita ” men are scarce.I may postpone it but all i need is a sincere apology from the man. The bridesmaid has eaten the food meant for me alone so she must go far from me”
Mary ” I will cancel the wedding no matter how long we have prepared. For him to sleep with her who knows who else he has slept with? he is a womaniser…I will leave my area to settle down somewhere else”
Tope ” hmmm I will stop the marriage no matter what. I am sure people will advise me to continue but they won’t live with me after and witness him do worse. If the pressure on me is too much I will ask for the wedding to be postponed so I can think about it.”
What would u do?
ohhhh my goodness….sometimes i just feel newspapers make these answers up cos they are just so unbelieveable.
i am both LMAO and shaking my head at the thought that ppl are willing to go thru a life time of potential misery so they can avoid a few moments of shame……
wow, a day before the wedding is pretty close, I mean what were they thinking…ok If my man does this to me a day before my wedding, I have abit of a renouned silent temper, if am angry I need time and space to cool off, some people say its because I hardly get angry..am ranting…my wedding day is a once in a life time experience and am sure I would want to remember it as a happy day, so the wedding will not hold the next day (especially if my man has made major contributions to it…let him suffer small.lol). Maybe I will forgive him, afterall I was thinking of marrying him a day ago…more ranting…my bridesmaid, she better ruuuuuuunnnnnnnnn!!!! I won’t be responsible for my actions eventhough she is as guilty as my man. Equally guilty ‘cos it takes two to cheat!
I am not realy suprised by the comments, most nigerian women think marriage is the be all and end all of everything and our society does not help matters.We are also indoctrinated in the what will people say philosophy of life rather than what is best for me and eff what people say.If these comments were not really reflective our our society, it makes for good comic relief.SMH.
It is very simple mi-systa, I will quit the wedding cos I can’t go into a union that is doom from the very start. If men are scarce like Rita said, I will consider lesbanism. Na by force to marry???
…the ultimate goal need not to marry but, to be happy. Being on the other side, i can’t comment but, need one endure what has no foundations?
The responses look more like business decisions rather than you know what….
The comments make it seem like the ultimate goal of a lot of naija sistas is to get married. What value is there in a potentially miserable marrieage? the man hasnt even married u yet, and he is showing his true color. Omo na to run. Marriage is not by force at all.
Nigerian mothers need to start training their daughters with more self-responsibility and love.
I totally agree with @ababoypart2, that is what marriage seems like today for lots of folks. Hence the responses. It’s heartbreaking 🙁
Wow-those comments shocked the ish out of me. I cant begin a marriage that serves infidelity as the appetizer. No-Way!!!
nawa o serious matter! i guess u never know what u’ll do till u find yourself in that position..but my first reaction will be to cancel the wedding. he obviousily has no respect for me..and the girl is definitely not a friend…
may we never experience such o! ah!
I am so shocked with those comments! No i will not continue with the wedding…the wedding is just a day, we have a lifetime to spend together and if the guy has no respect for me that close to our wedding, when will he have??? I thank God my husband is not that kinda man!
I am hyperventilating…*passes out*
SAD! I guess some people gotta get married by all means
LOL. This is embarrassing! Continue with the wedding ke? R u flipping kidding me? How can somebori just enter a bad marriage with both eyes open? Mba o!
I wonder what the answer would have been if the question was “What will you do if your husband-to-be beats you up the night before your wedding?”
You will think that will be obvious but with the answers to the question already presented-it probably defies normal logic.
Are those comments real? Would a real black woman go ahead with the wedding? Lets face it …the first thing to do would be to “put a hold” on the wedding!
If I were in that situation I definately would cancel the whole plan… better now than later!
LMAO… hyperventilating! LMAO!!!
I can’t shout.. me i won’t marry the guy oh! Olorun maje!!
LOL.. eyama… he will now come and insert the same poisonous element of fornication into my body! I reject bad rubbish! lol
one thing I learned from these comments is that our women have a low sense of self worth..Quite sad, the truth is that many of their parents would encourage them to go ahead,…Olorun maje! may it not happen to any of us or those we know.
The thing is…every case is different. So I will say “DON’T MARRY HIM.” But the scenario may not apply to every situation. Lol.
shuo.. na so marriage dey hungry people?
The bride should be thankful to God for revealing the truth about her hubby-to-be and her friend now rather than later.
The shame and heart ache she’ll face now will be less than if she’d already set up home with him and children were involved.
ewoooo my naija sisters na wetin be dis…the comments are downright sad
wow, trust is the bedrock of every marriage, if I cant trust u, how can I submit to u?
I say mba! no 2 the marriage
Second time reading this after the first time a few weeks ago. Still don’t know what to type. Sad state of affairs, so to speak!
i agree with aweluju.. i used to think that papers make up this answers but wen u actualli sough public opinions urself, u see that it kinda samles what we see here, this shows the extent to which girls’ self esteem has fallen, i pray for those who wudnt cancel the marriage…
right thing tto do…fashy teh wedding……
stuff most women would do….marry dude……
my bridesmaid CANNOT&WILLNOT open leg for my beau cos I KNOW whoever i eventually marry will NOT WANT TO CHOOK…….
i need not answer the question….cos i get cyanide for house!!!!!!!!!!
Good for people to know.
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ROTFLMAO!!!! i just stumbled on ur blog,n dis definately caught my attn..pls did dey hand pick som village gals to ansa dis question??cos no right thinking female in dis century will go ahead with d weddin…"men r scarce" my 10 toes hiisssssssss its women like dis dt make men think dey can get away with just anything..as in seriously??? wow!!
ROTFLMAO!!!! i just stumbled on ur blog,n dis definately caught my attn..pls did dey hand pick som village gals to ansa dis question??cos no right thinking female in dis century will go ahead with d weddin…"men r scarce" my 10 toes hiisssssssss its women like dis dt make men think dey can get away with just anything..as in seriously??? wow!!