Today we have a guest post from Dani a friend of mine who is a single mother. She is passionate about God and people but is often judged by her fellow women. In this piece she talks about her experience and calls on women to build each other up, be our sisters keepers and be who God has called us to be .
I read with horror some months ago about the lady who was killed by her husband, a victim of domestic abuse. May her soul rest in peace. That story hit home for me. Let me add here that as a society, we should have more respect for the dead. I hate it when pictures of people who died tragically are splashed all over the news. Where’s our common decency?
The story hit home for me because I was once a victim of domestic abuse. That was 10 years ago. It’s something I don’t like talking about because I feel there was never any real justice. I’m talking about it now because I believe that we women don’t stand up enough, and most especially, we don’t stand up for one another. Women who are being abused need support and a shoulder to lean on. Domestic violence is a vice that affects way more women than men. No woman deserves it. Nobody deserves it.
I say this to every woman out there: We have to speak up. Most importantly, we have to be our sisters’ keepers, in words and in actions. Women are not for decoration or procreation alone. We have a duty, an important part to play in our society.
Let’s start from the home. How do we raise our children? Do we raise our sons to feel entitled and our daughters to feel subservient? If we do, we are already messing up the future generations because those boys and girls will grow up to be demanding men and timid women, and nothing will change. The cycle will be perpetuated for the next 50 years unless we make a change now. As women, we often sell ourselves short. We don’t bother to teach our girls that they can aspire to be great, that they can confidently stand up for themselves. We just want them to be ‘pretty’. When did ‘pretty’ become evidence of a strong character or determination?
In all this, we call ourselves Christians while failing to teach our sons and daughters the ways of God, not just by our words but by our actions. We have to act right because children are very perceptive: they do what they see their parents do, and not what their parents say.
As Christians, let’s set aside gossip, envy, jealousy and unnecessary strife. When we discuss and dissect people behind their backs, it is gossip. When we say negative things about people, it is slander. Even if the ‘gist’ is true, let’s ask ourselves, is it really our business? Or do we just want to rejoice at another woman’s misfortune? Instead of judging, we should be extending a helping hand. If for some reason we can’t help, it’s best to just keep quiet and keep our distance. No ‘eyeing’ or giving dirty looks – that’s just as bad as slander.
We have to rise up from our selfish ways and actually reach out to help others. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from, we all have a part to play in making our society better. Change begins with the man in the mirror. We have to change our mindsets and renew our thinking, and we can only do that through God’s Word. Romans 12:2 says ‘And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable will of God’.
All said and done, I believe that we can do nothing without God. It is His power and His power alone that gives us the strength to do what is right – not what we think is right but what is truly right in His eyes. I think I’m a feminist at heart, but I’m first and foremost a dedicated Christian, so I say to you reading this: if you have not come to know Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour, do so now. He awaits you with open arms. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been attending church. It doesn’t matter if you’re even an usher or a member of the choir. If you truly want a change in your life, then cry out to Him. I assure you, He will answer. The power of the Holy Spirit can change lives, it can change our circumstances, and even if our circumstances don’t change overnight, our hearts change. The power of the Holy Spirit can restore and minister to your very soul. He can mend even your deepest broken places.
It is when we truly receive God’s healing in our mind, body and soul that we can effect healing in our broken society: a society where the rights of the poor are trampled upon, where abuse of every kind takes place and we ‘mind our business’, where the broken-hearted and hurting are denied refuge, even in the church.
Women, we all need to rise up and be who God has called us to be:
A helper to man.
A daughter of the Most High.
A co-heir with Christ Jesus.
A woman after God’s heart.
My prayer for everyone who gets to read this is that God will reveal Himself to you so you can walk in complete victory in every area of your life.
God bless you abundantly!