Book Review : Toke Makinwa’s “On Becoming”

 I love books and when I first heard about Toke’s book I was like “good for you!”, as anyone that has the discipline to sit down and write a book has my respect. However I was not sure I was going to read her book but at the end I am really glad I did! It gave me an insight into who Toke really is and I applaud her courage and strength. Yes Toke has her flaws like all of us, but she has kept her eyes on the goal and has been able to become the star she always wanted  to be.

My girl Precious “Iyabeji” Richard-Okon of the Iyabeji show did a vlog review on the book  and while I agree with a lot of what she said ( from the title alone most of us expected a story on her career and how she became this big star against all odds) I believe she told an important story that will help not just her healing process but that of other young women who are stuck in very negative relationships. This story is one she needed to tell and is a foundation for whatever else she writes going forward.

 Read on for my own take from after reading Toke’s  book;

Her parents passing: Toke went through a very traumatic experience and I believe some of her self-seeking behaviour is based on her “need” for love.  Yes many of us loose our folks and seem to handle our lives with more maturity but people are different. I believe she may have made better  choices especially with her love life if she had her parents around. When one faces such a traumatic loss  it is easy to start looking for love in all the wrong places like she did with Maje.

Her insecurity: Beneath all the glamour many of us are dealing with one insecurity or the other and in her book Toke is not afraid to show this. I believe this is something women (and men) need to work on, we all need to realise we are fearfully and wonderfully made and not allow people treat us like we aren’t worth a penny. She knew her husband was a philanderer but she kept on trying to keep him despite all the more than obvious signs.

Her writing style: Give it Toke her writing style is engaging and she and her editor did a sterling job! I finished her book in two days as it was so well written and had me captivated from page 1 to the end.

Her friends:  I don’t know who are friends  are (as in who they really are) so I can’t say much about them, but one thing I can say is that they seem loyal! In her book you see that at every point they rallied round, she may not have always have taken their advice and who knows maybe they didn’t give the best advice but they remained loyal.  They knew the real story behind her marriage and none of them leaked it to the blogs or spread it about. Toke told her story on her own terms.

Her message: To be honest her message in the book was a bit confusing, what was she trying to put across? It seemed like she was just trying to give her version of what happened in her marriage and nothing more. I would have been happier if the whole Maje debacle was a chapter or two while she spent the rest of the book tell fans how despite it all she has become this huge star. I also felt the message had TMI (too much information) regarding her relationship, something’s are better kept private but since its her story I guess how she tells it is up to her.

After reading the book I felt like giving Toke a big hug! yes she made mistakes but she has owned her shortcomings and I believe she wrote that book for her own self therapy. I also hope she is able to get over her past, embrace God and continue to be all He has called her to be!

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6 Comments

  1. Agree but her message was to tell the story on her own terms she was not confused she knew what she wanted to achieve…. In terms of TMI well that is what makes on becoming on becoming…Her writing style was impeccable too. It wasa good read.

    1. Thanks for your comment and insight Jenny! Personally I’m just not a fan of TMI but for someone in the public eye I feel she “had to tell that story ” and even the TMI (eg like when she spoke about him not “releasing ) eventually made sense. Yep the writing style was really good.

  2. Waaay TMI! Otherwise, an interesting read. Good therapy for her and those in situations similar to hers. I bought the book and don’t regret doing so….

    1. Honestly I think she wrote it first for herself and I hope she feels more peace! It’s a really well written book. Thanks for your comment Eme.

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