The Richer woman… When I saw the title of the book I knew it would not be a strictly finance book, for true riches can never consist of mere financial gain.
While it is true that most of us want money, what we desire even more than money is to be happy and fulfilled in our calling. The writer of this book “Omilola Oshikoya” realised this and in her book tried to shed light on why she was so insecure and so crazy about being financially rich no matter what. She also writes about how she almost jeopardises the love of a good man over the lure of mammon and lust and ends up having an affair. Here are a few lessons I learnt from the book and the Abuja event.
Your root – Your shoots are to a large extent a reflection of your roots. Omilola takes us back to her upbringing to explain her insecurities concerning money and more. As a child her parents faced a sharp turn in fortunes, they went from being quite wealthy to a point where they were almost homeless and both verbal and physical conflict in the home became the norm. The lack and humiliation she experienced growing up were the chief ingredients that ended up turning Omilola into that girl who was obsessed with getting rich at all cost.
Your priorities – She talks about the wheel of life which should have God (your spirituality) at the very top. Your relationship with God should be ultimate, talking to Him and receiving from Him should become a norm. There is truly nothing more important than your walk with Christ and when this is right then everything else flows and even when you face difficult choices or situations (for they will come) you can be assured He is with you. Second of all is Family– Family over everything, whether you are a single or married woman put your immediate family first. Omilola wrote about the importance of making out quality time for her spouse and children as their fufilment of destiny is part of your purpose. Then your Career is of course important, and its necessary to try and do what you love. She spoke about her experience career wise and how her initial career path was driven by her inordinate quest for money but God had better plans for her. Now she has a career/vocation that ultimately gave not just money but fulfillment and more time with family and purpose – all round richness! There are other important aspects of the wheel such as your relationships with other people (these relationships should be nurtured), your health, your finances, recreation (one holiday for you, one with family and one with your boo) and so on. Ultimately, what is most important is prioritising these components of the wheel.
Who has your ear?- In other words who do you listen to? Who is in your inner circle? In the book Omilola writes about the dream team that everyone should have and they consist of the following people
A mentor : these can be virtual mentors and not necessarily people you know one on one.or coach who encourages you. A Judas : yep, even the bad people in your life end up helping you fufill purpose. A prayer partner: someone you can agree in prayer with. A confidant: This has to be someone who will not carry your “business” all over the place , so “wisdom is profitable to direct”. A mentee : This is a person who you can teach life lessons and pour into.
This team is really important as what they say can make or mar you. In the book there’s an example of how good “team members” helped the writer in the time of temptation.
Test and Trials – In life one will face tests and trials, that really is the sad truth. While tests and trials are part of life nothing stops us from choosing how we react to such trials. With God and the right team everything will be alright in the end. Also we should remember that at the end of these tests if we take the lessons we will come out stronger and better at the other side, Like the butterfly who has to squeeze through the cocoon we will end be having ” beauty for our ashes”.
You are not alone: Many time you think you are the only one facing a particular issue but this is hardly ever true for “there is nothing new under the sun”. Sometimes when we realise that your situation is not novel it gives you the boldness to tackle it and say “hang on if other people have been able to deal with this then I will”. For example while the author was very brave to have spoken about her struggle with infidelity and how she almost completely fell she is definitely not alone and many married women have faced such temptations . When you realise “no be only you waka come” then you can stop throwing yourself a pity party and deal with the issues.
I could go on and on but the truth is that this book is really “rich” and talks about a whole lots of topics from abuse in the writer’s life to topics like sex, sprituality,money and so many aspects that will help women in their quest for the “richer life”. Its a good and easy read and something that I will definitely read again.
The Interactive Session
Omilola has been going to a few places to talk about being “The Richer Woman” and it was awesome to be at the Abuja event. First of, the team that Omilola put together was awesome! All the ladies spoke with such honesty and here are a few snippets from Ify one of the amazing participants.
“Do not look for anyone’s affirmation” Ijeoma Ndukwe Egwuronu
“Always do a constant self-analysis of yourself” Samiah Oyekan-Ahmed
“The little you know try your best to know it well. Find your strength and stay there – Ijeoma Ndukwe Egwuronu
“Stay focused and make sure you surround yourself only with those souring higher, iron sharpeneth iron” -Chioma N. Momah
“We go through pain and processes unbeknown to us to eventually find purpose” Tolu Kasali
“Part of my purpose is to help my husband fulfil his purpose to” Morinsola Sofola
At the Abuja event she spoke about the butterfly and moth analogy which is so simple yet powerful. At the end of the day the major thing hold us back from being the “The Richer Woman” is fear and by God’s grace we will all learn to “do it afraid” …