The state of the economy is taking its toll on everything including marriages. People are getting more irritable and things that could be overlooked before are now cause for serious conflict. When the bills are piling up tempers flare and your boo takes the brunt of it. However, for these reasons and more a lot needs to be put in to make your marriage fun no matter what. Here are a few tips I have learnt from friends and family to keep things nice and fresh!
Have dates: Set aside one day every week and go out with your significant other. It doesn’t have to be anywhere expensive – as long as both of you are together and enjoying each other’s company, that’s what matters. If you don’t have a nanny and going on a date every week is cumbersome, then try finding someone to babysit fortnightly. Make it interesting by trying out new joints or restaurants and relive your courtship. Always remember how things were before the babies arrived and try to ensure that you don’t neglect quality time with each other. If dates are nights are difficult to organize then spend as much time as you can during the day by meeting up to have lunch.
Surprise, Surprise: There is absolutely no reason why you cannot just spring a surprise on your significant other for no particular reason. It could be sending him a “just because I love you” cake at work, it may cost a bit but you will totally make his day! Another cute idea for a surprise could be slipping a note with some words of love of encouragement into his suit jacket or briefcase in the morning, when he’s not looking. He’ll be thrilled when he finds it later in the day. One interesting surprise idea is finding an excuse to invite him home in the middle of the day (traffic and schedule permitting). When he gets home make sure you are all ready to give him a very sexy surprise indeed! A friend of mine did this and made her husband close from work early to attend to an “issue” in the house (be sure not to make it sound life threatening). He arrived home a bit cross as he knew his wife had handled less serious matters, as he walked into the room he discovered that the emergency was his very horny wife strewn on the bed. Let’s just say he was pleasantly surprised.
Take a break! : A short break with your loved one is always a good way to relax and rediscover each other. Again, it doesn’t have to be anywhere exotic or expensive, so affordability should never be an excuse. If travelling is not feasible then a few nights at a nice hotel in your city will not break the bank. Also, the children should not be as excuse – if Grandma or Aunty isn’t available to babysit then there must be a friend who won’t mind watching your precious little ones for a night or two. Whatever it takes, make sure you have quality time together, with no interruptions!
Take the lead: Studies show that men love it when their women initiate sex. Try not to be the proverbial “goody two shoes” who waits for hubby to stretch out his hands in the dark. Instead, surprise him by getting some sexy lingerie and initiating things in the bedroom.
Do an activity together: You could sign up at the local gym, start playing board games together, or decide to start taking long weekend walks. Just find an activity you both enjoy and engage in it regularly. Apart from the benefits for your health and well-being, doing stuff together strengthens your bond, and before you know it things will be as fresh as the day you first met.
Write a letter: Ok I know this sounds a bit corny but take some time to write a letter to your loved one telling him or her all the stuff that makes them special and unique. This is something that’s cheap and could be done very often. You could send a text or an email, but to make it old-fashioned and extra-special you could write it by hand and go ahead and send it by post!
Buy a gift: It’s often said that you ”can give without loving but you cannot love without giving”. Yes I know times are tough but a gift doesn’t need to cost a lot! It could be something simple. The most important thing is for your dearest to know that you are on their mind. Try to buy thoughtful gifts like a much loved snack or a book your significant other has been raving about and you will be shocked at how a little token could go a long way.
True friendship: Friendship is the key to any successful marriage so start with the basics and rebuild or strengthen your friendship. Start by communicating better on issues and asking each other’s opinions before making a decision. Remember to be conscious of your spouse’s feelings and never have the stance of “always being right”. Open communication is one of the most important aspects of a successful relationship.
Forgive: Learn to forgive; forgiveness is key to staying in love. Yes, he may have hurt you with his actions before but to err is human and we all make mistakes. Once you have been able to forgive then try and talk about what happened to be sure it doesn’t re occur.
Communicate: Love is a language that needs to be learned. Take the effort to communicate love to your partner in words and deeds. Apart from verbal communication learn to speak your spouse’s love language, as actions often speak louder than words. For example your spouse may love words of affirmation and so learn to speak words that will show you love him. Also everyone loves to be appreciated so endeavour to appreciate everything your spouse does, even those things that you think are a given like making a nice meal. It is important to remember that no one likes being taken for granted and love thrives on being appreciated.
Please share your tips for fanning the love flames and here’s hoping that the last quarter of the year is filled with love and joy!