Good day everyone!
So the video of the young man who was abused and starved in boarding house has been trending and I do hope that his parents do all they can to help him recover from the trauma.
Truth be told I am not a fan of boarding house, but I am not totally against it either…this is because sometimes parents don’t have other options and a good boarding facility is not without its benefits. I would rather a child is in a good boarding house than totally unsupervised at home. However, I would rather children stay home till they are a bit older.
If you decide boarding house is best for you and your family here are some suggestions to get the best experience for all concerned.
1. Do your due diligence: Please it’s not just enough to say I want my child in boarding…you must investigate and be sure the boarding school has a good track record. Ask other parents, ask other students. Insist on inspecting the facility that your child will live in.
2. Be present: My Aunty once said to me “if you love your child the school will as well”. Even though you are not physically absent let your presence be felt. Have the numbers of the all the relevant people who are looking after your child and relate with them often to ask about your child’s welfare. Visiting days , open days, PTA meetings and other school events should not be missed. In the event that your absence is unavoidable send a trusted proxy.
3. Be observant: Please make sure when you speak to your child or see them you are extremely observant of any thing being off. Someone close to me was depressed from 11 to 13 year old because seniors made fun of her, cruelly bullied her and publicly humiliated her. She had an awful experience, thankfully her mother noticed that an already quiet child was getting even more introverted and made sure she changed her to another boarding house close to home. The change was instant! In that school rules were more strictly enforced, and her mum could monitor her closely. She shudders when she thinks of how her life would have been if her mum didn’t notice the signs and act.
4. Choose a school that’s close: A child won’t be home forever but when they are younger it’s best they go to a boarding school in your state or not too far away. Why? It’s easier to rush to your child in case of any occurrences.
5. Be prayerful: The truth is that we are never with our children 24/7 so we must stay prayed up. God is everywhere and as we commune with Him concerning everything including our children He will guide and direct.
6: Place them together: It’s actually a plus when you put your children in the same school. They look out for each other and also notice when things are going wrong. Back in Fediben (my secondary school) no one messed with girls with big sisters. If they don’t have siblings that’s fine just see if you can put them in a school where they will have someone older to look out for them.
7. Trust your instincts: If something feels wrong it must likely is. Don’t ignore that funny feeling and trust your God given instincts. Many times it’s the voice of God.
Leave comments below and follow me on instagram (@chiomahmomah) to continue the conversation.
Awesome tips. I have had my two oldest children in boarding schools. My daughter started off in an all- girls school. When my son, her younger brother was of age, he went to an all- boys school.
This caused a separation as they hardly saw each other, except during holidays. I noticed their bond as siblings grew thin. After that session, I moved them both to a co-ed school.
Their relationship is beautiful now, and they look out for each other. I remember calling to speak with my daughter and she’d tell me all I need to know about her brother, even sending a list of what he needs on visiting day.
The tips you gave are extremely helpful. Mothers should be very vigilant. Don’t expect the school to do what you failed yo do.
Thanks Chioma…
Thanks Edith for sharing how putting them together worked for your family!