Today, as I often do, I found myself thinking about one of the most amazing career women and moms I know — Bibi Nwokedi.

I still remember her getting ready for work — always well-dressed, finishing her look with her office ID. Her office didn’t joke with that ID card!
At one point, her office moved from Adeola Odeku to just off Mulliner — our street — so work was only minutes away. She could easily send for lunch or whatever she needed. Sometimes she even strolled home for lunch!

She genuinely enjoyed working and had amazing relationships with her colleagues. Names like Aunty Amoge, Aunty Lois, Aunty Grace, Uncle Victor, Mrs. Ugbizi, and Aunty Rose were constants — many became close friends. We’re still in touch with some, even though it’s been well over a decade since she passed.

My mum had a great sense of responsibility and carried out her duties with care. With a partner and role model like my dad — also a dedicated public servant — she never slacked. When she sometimes came home exhausted, she’d take a quick power nap before emerging to spend quality time with her six children. We never doubted how much we meant to her.

And those meeting goodies? As a child I was certain work meetings were all about assorted food. One day, she came home with lobster! Biko, do people still serve lobster at meetings? 😄

She was social — always attending weddings and events. A true woman of the people. I got some of my social skills from her.

She was a natural coach and counsellor — always there for her friends, their spouses, and children — without ever making us feel left out. I now realize those “visits” where she disappeared into a room with the couple were probably her being called in to resolve something serious.

She travelled for courses — US, UK, Italy — and sent the most beautiful postcards detailing all she had been up to, from white-water rafting to visiting family in between classes. We’d wait eagerly for her calls… to hear her sweet voice and to also report each other: “Kay did this, Uzo did that, Ogo did the other…” 😂

She opened our eyes to the world and made sure we travelled both locally and internationally…she was intentional about making memories with us. I remember my siblings and I going with her to PTI Effurun (near Warri) for a training. She got friendly with the cook and made sure we had extra portions — “Africa, my dear” she would say to him ” please feed my children” she would say with her effervescent smile.

When she or my dad returned from their trips, it was excitement galore — clothes, accessories, chocolates, and toys! She was very trendy so whatever she bought us was always on point!

She taught me that you can build a career and be a fully present parent. You may need to make certain choices, but it will be worth it.

I miss her.

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